Tuesday, December 05, 2006

despite being at the age of seventeen..i realise tt my thinking is still at a childish stage..those who noe me well will noe why..its been a long time since i last blog..busy with projects and school works..so bobian..wah lau ey..exams coming liao yet i'm falling sick! sore throat..runny nose etc..wah biang..everytime oso like tt one can..either sick during exam or after exam..how to get good grades?how to enjoy myself huh?really bth..

hmm..having my mood swing period again..every little thing can get on my nerves and i just felt like screaming at the culprit who ruin my mood..i know its wrong..but i jux cant help it..sian..friday got banquet..but i sick leh..lucky is banquet and not other ulu-ulu jobs so at least still have motivation to get to work..

bought a new hp..change a new no..so those who dont know yet..do get it from me in some way or another kkx..dun wanna lose contact with anyone..paiseh if i forgot to send to u peeps ey...heex..aniways..i bought LG chocolate..it only has looks and nth else and i dun like it!

hmmm..feeling very tired..mind completely blocked out..so yah..shall stop at here..heex..today guai yi dian..dun be so naggy..haas..

*wo de tian kong jing tian you dian hui*
*wo de xin shi ge luo ye de ji jie*
*wo bu zhi dao ru he ao guo jing ye*
*suo you de deng zhao yi jiing quan dou xi mie*

9:46 PM

Sunday, December 03, 2006

And I'm Just Down
You Left Me With A Note Without A Sound
I Figured I Must Stop Being Such A Child
You Never Know How Much I Been Around
How My Heart Just Rounds Of Your Down
I'll Be Your Teddy Bear
I'll Be Your Cloud
I'll Take You Round And Round
If You Dont Mind
I Can Be Your Standing Crown
Even If That Means I Drown...

5:12 AM

Monday, November 27, 2006

well..well..well..its been a long time since i last blog le..hmmm..bobian lar..no time and opportunity to use the comp ma..anyway..i'm really very happy that i got into business! heex..lucky i didnt end up in marketing or logistics..sure die one lo..hate marketing fundementals to the core..dun say marketing..haas..as for logistic..jux tink tt its too mathematical for me..u noe i always sucks at counting..niways...miss anna so much..idiot..go m'sia so long..nvr reply my sms de lo..den yvette finally turn 17 le..notti ger..always go clubbing..little havoc kitten..wahha..sounds abit inappropriate right..but who cares..purr! haas..anyway..johnathon oso went m'sia..cameron highlands..hmmm..

wah lau ey..stupid anna lar..den see the bloody..i mean literally bloody picture of the gal..really gore can..beginning to hate gore le..dunoe why..how can people actually face death so calmly especially its such violent death..and..how could they even have the mood to take picture of the deceased..where's the basic respect huh?niways..realize tt more and more people are resorting to leaping off buildings to end their unhappiness..so many people around me are taking the leap..wads wrong with this world man?i know they are brave..but..dun they know the life after death will be much more hideous than the current world tt we're living in.haix..really hope they can be happier be it up there in the sky..or down there beneath the soil..

life's a struggle..such is life..haix..aint there any happy things in life?why is life such a tedious and slow journey?hmmm..my ah ma having an operation soon..really hope she'll be fine..going to unstitch this wed..damm scare can?pain how?i faint how?wah lau ey..imagin the string being pulled out from the gum..just the thought is disgusting can?stupid school fees..why so high?money easy earn izzit?wah lau ey..^%^%%##$#@^%&*^*(

kang li's really cute..can still eat sushi straight after plucking out the teeth..she forever that cute de can..but really sad lo..why her sis wan go chij?arrgh!hope she wun turn into a les or a b***h..haas..no offence..jux a personal opinion..my point of view..my style!

3:35 AM

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

lets begin with the happenings on sunday..it was suppose to be a lazy morning wherby everyone is lying on their nice beds till the afternoon heat wakes one up..but unfortunately..i was awaken by the ugly quarrels of my parents..there they go again..shouting and screaming as though they were separated by a thousand miles and only through shouting can they get the message through..anyway..coz of this..i woke up...i was sitting on the sofa when somebody came knocking at my door..its a tradition for us not to open the door as my mum..will typically curse both the culprit for opening e door and the sales person standing outside..so to play safe..i jux waited for someone else to open it..and so..my dad who was cooking lunch rush out to open the door..guess wad..wad a pleasant surprise..it was a lady standing at my doorstep holding a big basket full of flowers with one bear embracing the sweetness of the flowers and one big helium balloon tied to it saying " you're appreciated".Its such a nice..sweet and romantic gift ey..and the most expensive gift i receive ba..not including those money tt my ah ma always shove to me whenever i visit..heex..anyway..without even opening the card..i know who its from..coz onli one person will do tt..and tt's bear..haas..its really sweet of him..its around A3 size! but still..dun like e idea tt he spend so much $$..

anyway..good things dun last..after tt..my dad brought me to eunos unity clinic..woah..i was there for a dental surgery..wth..not mentioning the price which is $300..but the process..kao ey..first i had an x-ray to reveal the "wisdom" tooth..den after tt..the hellish journey started..wa biang ey..cannot take it..she took out 3 long needles..den one by one..poke them into my sensitive gum..with the needle halfway or more through the gum..wah biang..i almost faint can..still say wad ant bite..tell u..den this ant muz be the world largest ant ever with the world sharpest tooth..kao ey..dun belive me go use one sewing needle and poke your own gum..den she ask me rest..slowly..the effect take place..wah lao ey..during the long tedious 20 mins..she cut up my gum..den twist and drill the bloody tooth..kao ey..who can stand the blood smell..for me i definetly cannot de lo..keep wanting to vomit..still keep asking me to open my mouth big..she heng i nvr vomit in her face ah..den the stupid assistance..understand is a trainee lar..but oi! wah lan ey..is my wisdom tooth causing the pain..u rest the bloody pun zui de spray so hard on my upper teeth for wad?trying to cause more damage to my traumatise mind huh?or wan earn more money try spoil my teeth..kao..she ah..like so jing zhang..den forget tt she exerting bloody force at the wrong place..lucky the dentist notice..ask for a change..arboh i tell u..my upper teeth oso gone case one liao lo..den kao..i damm scare dentist one lo..this kangli..anna..dardar noe..haas..den of coz..needless to say..i cry lar..den my dad got so anxious..stood up to see wads wrong..heex..first time see him so concern for me..my dad rocks..den the stupid dentist..still dun faster do..keep pausing to explain wad shes doing to me to my dad..kao..opening mouth big is damm tough for me de lo..she still take her own sweet time..my blooody time man..blood keep oozing lo..kao ey..finally..she twist and turn and drill..the tooth came out..it was a bloody scene..wosh!glad i made it..haas..

was suppose to mit mitch..but..she's so caring..scare i faint..so didnt..and not onli tt..she even made a trip to my house to collect homework..a really sweet fren..kekex..

den slp at home..wake up onli..realize i look like a hamster with the pouch full of food..oh man..damm cute can..haas..UGLY but adorable..cn u imagin your face like tt..dun believe is cute u try squeeze one xiao long bao into your right cheek..haas...put it there for 2 days..see u ps not..haas..i damm ps can..lucky got 5 day mc..but hor..sad ah..stupid jap lar..lec and presentation..bobian muz go..haix..lets skip skip abit..

den..at around evening..there's one loud *BONG* again..soon..police cars came..guess wad..another suicide case..my bllk summore..witness the scene..wah biang ey..can faint can..why so many ppl so sad nobody noe till they jumped?kao..he live one floor above me onli..bt on e other side lar..if i see him drop from my window i sure bian siao one lo..kao ey..such a pity..still so young..only 29 leh..haix..i really wonder izzit true tt 1,3,5,7,9 ages are evil ages..blk 106..19yr old jump..he lives on 12th storey..blk 104..29yr old jump..oso live on 12th storey..aint it too coicident..and it happen in less than a month..can ppl stop jumping around me..will i be the next to jump 2 yrs down the road?haix..

monday was real bored..though no need wake up early for school..but i cant eat anything solid..cant go out too with this face ma..haix..so hide at hm the whole day..

hmmm..anna going m'sia again lo..go so long for wad..will miss u de leh..idiot zhu tou..haiix..still finding ppl to pei me go unstitch..sob..scare pain!!!!arrgH!!

LIVING HELL!!

7:07 PM

Friday, November 17, 2006

i'm depressed..all so depressed..can anyone hear the sound of my heart breaking into a million pieces?i'm feeling all so down and miserable..drowning myself in sorrows everyday..i tried to act as though i'm tough..nth's wrong infront of everybody..but deep down inside..its pouring heavily..i will not allow a single tear to fall..never..no matter how sad ii am..i wun fall..i'll stand tall and strong..the turmoil inside of me is slowly killing me..ii felt as though my life on earth is diminishing fast..been checking up alot bout chinese funeral and life after death..its believe that if a person commits suicide..he'll be send to hell in christians' eyes and in buddhism..because he created a sin so bad..he'll keep killing himself every reincarnation..and not only that..the fees of conducting a funeral is calculated in thousands..woah..with all this research..how can i die that easily?torment..turmoil..i'm suffocating slowly..fading away..i no longer feel any pain or hurt..i'm no longer feeling humane..i'm leading a life of a zombie..everyday i'm waiting..waiting to see the god of death..devastated..

ham left me..den john did..slowly..one by one will go..wads left will be nth but a grasp of wind..may the wind take my soul with it..and let me be carefree from now till eternity..god bless

1:10 AM

yesterday...we finally broke up after 11 months plus of sweetness..bitter and everything..in the end..we still cannot make it more than 1 yr..haiix..really disappointed..not onli in him..but oso in myself too..i told myself before..no matter wad..at least endure or give in through the 1yr anni..but alas..i still didnt manage to succeed..

haiix..wads done is done..after tuesday..i'll never mit him again..guess..i'll lock him up at the back of my mind and just forget about all the things we did together..its meaningless isnt it? tink i'll jux embark on a new journey without him..if not wad else?

visited my cute cute ah ma just now and she ask me bout johnathon..wad can i say?i simply replied with a smile..we're over..guess..i'll nvr introduce another bf to my ah ma le..coz i really dunoe how to answer her when she ask bout him..maybe..i wun even wanna stead again..its jux too hurtful liao ba..

wo ke yi pei ni qu kan xing xing..bu yong zai duo shuo ming..wo jiu yao he ni zai yi qi..wo bu xiang you zai yi ci he ni fen li..wo duo mo xiang mei yi ci de mei li shi ying wei ni..xing fu ta zhen de bu rong yi..

Who are you now?Are you still the same Or did you change somehow? What do you do At this very moment when I think of you?And when I'm looking back How we were young and stupid Do you remember that?Baby No matter how I fight it Can't deny it Just can't let you go I still need you I still care about you Though everything's been said and done I still feel you Like I'm right beside you But still no word from you Now that you're gone Instead of moving on, I refuse to see And I keep coming back And I'm stuck in a moment That wasn't meant to last (to last) I try to fight it Can't deny it You don't even know That I still need you I still care about you Though everything's been said and done I still feel you Like I'm right beside you But still no word from you Ohhhh Wish I could find you Just like I found you then Ohhhhh (can't live without you) Though everything's been said and done (yeah) I still feel you (I still feel you) Like I'm right beside you (like I'm right beside you) But still no (still no word) word from you

12:43 AM

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

well..its been so long since i had a nitemare..no wonder the moment the nitemare come..its such a long and horrible one..arrgh! wads this man? the lowest point of my life? one after another come tumbling down..at this rate..i doubt that i'll be able to get into the business course that i want man..sob...

anyway..there will be this one stage tt everyone has to go through sometime somehow..tt is the growth of the wisdom tooth..wah biang ey..really wonder which idiiot is that to actully name such a sinister tooth the WISDOM tooth..kao..den i'll rather just have the rest of my stupid tooth man..bloody hell..the dentist poke my gum like nobody's business like tt causing ultimate sensation..and i mean a sensation of PAIN..wads worst...i need to be arrage for a surgery whereby he will flap up my whole gum and use the bloody sinister twizzle or wadsoever u call to pluck out the bloody wisdom tooth..and now..my whole gum is swollen..who can understand such pain??haiix..even he doesnt show me as much concern as my frens..niways..hack care liao..getting use to him not caring tt much for me liao..at least..got care a bit better than nth rite?muz really learn how to count my blessings le..

arrgh! where on earth is heaven?? i wanna be there..forever and ever!

8:18 PM

Monday, November 13, 2006

a couple of things to start with..

firstly..i am fucking irritated coz i type dunoe bloody hell how many times the reply for anna liao but each time the stupid friendster jux crop up and give me bloody hell problems..anyway..i tink anna gotta wait real long le..or mayb talk in msn ba..sorrie..but..i cant help it..bloody hell friendster..

Niways..my ham ham darling escape from its cozy home and up till now which is the third day oready i still cannot find her lo..arggh..wad to do..i really miss her lots..hope she's surviving well on her own..

wah biang ey..dunoe wads wrong with my tooth..its so freaking pain lo..but hor..i dun wan wastse so much money to pluck my tooth leh..summore..its DENTISE we're talking about! my greatest enemy on earth lo..wo na li ke neng song wo zi ji qu si..anyway..i'm jux gonna endure for a few more days..if still pain den i really muz zhan cao chu den..zhan ya chu gum le..haas..

i seriously hate marketing fundemental man..the lecture and tutorial like forever no link de..nvm..den teacher dun wan give model ans..wad the hell..its tutorial..not lecture..even lecturers give modal ans lo..wad spoon feed..bull shit..the worst of all..always give the crap of "there's no right or wrong answer"..wth..den i see no point in studying this sub since wadever i do can be right or wrong..its really wasting my time..and..i muz make clear..I AM NOT HOSTILE TOWARDS THE TEACHER BUT I JUX HATE THE SUBJECT..SO..DUN CRITIZE PEOPLE WITHOUT FINDING OUT THE TRUTH.. this is to whoever that is..no offence though..jux dun wanna have any blundders or stupid misunderstandings..

finally went to mandai crematorium to pay him my last visit..it was my first time there and e moment i step in..it just give me a sense of peace and serenity..i wanna be there when i leave this place too..haas..

moody moody moody..i'm always moody..why?coz i lost all hopes in life...

really worried for kang li..hope its really a big huge mosquito bite and my ger will be fine..hmmm..god bless!

12:49 AM